While fun was had, I have also never worked so hard in my life. But it actually felt like my work made a difference. It was great meeting with the patients a few days after their surgery and hearing how much better they felt, how their pain was gone, and how thankful they were. Surgery was very satisfying, it has instant results. Sick gallbladder? I take it out. Hernia? I fix it. Collapsed lung? I put in a chest tube. Necrotizing fasciitis? I cut it out. There were solutions to all these problems. I understand that not everything always goes according to plan and the outcome is not always so wonderful. I was very lucky to never lose a patient during the month which I'm sure helps to glorify my outlook. But even so I was never sitting back and waiting...surgery is all about doing something which made me feel better, like I was taking action.
My attending is an incredible teacher. He spent a lot of time with me and showed so much patience. He treats me like a colleague and has all the staff treat me like a full fledged doctor already. (It's very exciting to have people address me as 'Doctor' and ask me what I would like done with the patient.) I consider myself the bottom of the totem pole at the hospital but he says no. He expects me to play the part of doctor rather than student. When I offer to gown myself or remove a Foley or change a dressing he tells me to stop. He reminds me that my job is surgery and I need to stick to my job. I don't have time to perform these other tasks when there is someone else qualified to do them. I understand now how surgeons get a bad rep for being stuck up and non-caring about patients. But that's really not the case at all. They just don't have the time to do all the things that are required of them. This is why we have specialists in healthcare. No one can do it all. And also, it's the doctor's license and reputation on the line. No one sues hospital staff these days...when something goes wrong everyone blames the doctor. So it makes sense that a surgeon gets frustrated when their orders are not followed out to a tee or when time is wasted or when a mistake is made in the OR by support staff. I will no longer be mad when my own doctor is late for my appointment. I understand all the things that need to get done behind the scene and how emergencies can just pop up. Just imagine if you were the emergency. You wouldn't want your doctor to tell you to wait so they could stay on time with their office visits. But I'm stepping down from my soap box now...
Back to my experience in the OR... One time my attending just walked out of the room towards the end of the surgery and left me to close. I just stared at his back walking out the door while screaming in my head "NO! Don't leave me! I have fooled you all. I really have no idea what I'm doing." My panic died down when the scrub nurse looked at me and asked "Doctor, what do you want to close with?" And I knew. I knew what sutures to use and what knots to tie. After finishing my last suture, I looked up to find my attending watching through the observation window. So he didn't really leave me alone, which was comforting to realize. I will really miss him. Not only was he a great attending, he went out of his way to include me in his family outings and take care of me outside of the hospital. He took me wake boarding on the reservoir, had me over to his house for dinner, and treated me to may lunches and dinners out. He even drove me home at 4:30 in the morning after an emergency surgery where I almost passed out in the OR. After a long 16 hour day at the hospital, I got home at 10 pm, finished my assigned reading and went to bed at midnight. I was awoken by my phone at 1:10 am. Turns out our patient had turned septic and we had to operate now. I walked into the OR at 2:00 am not even realizing I hadn't had anything to eat or drink
since 5 pm the evening before. We were closing the patient up a few hours later when I started to feel really hot and my vision tunneled a little. According to my attending I turned sheet white. He had me step back from the table and sit down right there on the floor where I stayed while he finished up. He then personally got me breakfast and drove me home promising to pick me up later that morning so he could control when I went back to the hospital. During the ride home he shared with me the golden rule of surgery: eat when you can, sleep when you can, and don't poke the pancreas. Well, lesson learned.
With the Da Vinci - you can see my vagina repair on the screen in the background |
At the control station of the Da Vinci |
1. Tie your scrub pants tight - it's tragic when they come loose while running to a trauma
2. Always have a granola bar in your pocket. Or two...two is better
3. Hand lotion is your best friend - my hands have aged years with the 100+ times I wash them everyday
4. Fruit chapstick under your nose or inside your mask takes care of most smells
5. Have multiple pens in multiple pockets
6. There is a fine balance between staying hydrated and having to pee in the middle of a 5 hour surgery
7. Scrub caps are a great way to hide that you didn't have time to wash your hair
8. It's amazing how little laundry you have when wearing scrubs everyday
9. A good pair of shoes makes standing 12+ hours a day possible
10. Sleep and eat when you can, where you can...you never know when you'll be called in for a 2 am surgery